Ponies Read My Immortal
by BrightDark89
Summary: The main ponies of my Ask A Pony blog (Ask Snarky Ponies) read My Immortal, which Pinkie found lodged in the fourth wall! Most language is edited out, except for a few famous ones. But this has now changed to EVERYPONY IN PONYVILLE!
1. IT BEGINS

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin **(Pinkie: Bieber!)** ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX! **(Twilight: Who's MCR?)**

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way **(Twilight: HOW DO YOU PRONOUNCE THAT?!)** and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). **(Discord: I smell a better troll than me!) (Rainbow: Who's Amy Lee?)** I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major BUY SOME APPLES hottie. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white **(Pinkie: I'm calling Stephanie Meyer.) (Twilight: If you do, I'll kill you.)** I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. **(Pinkie: *cough*Marey Sue!)** For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. **(Discord: Barcode, please?)** I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. **(Pinkie: The pegasi there don't do a good job at the weather.)** A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them. **(Orion: Because that solves everything!)**

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was... **(Spectrum: Rarity after watching the Runaway Rainbow?)**Draco Malfoy!

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly. **(Luna: We find this story to make no sense.)**

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.**(Comet Tail: How can somepony like Ebony have friends?)**

AN: IS it good? **(Everypony: NO.) (Discord: Yes.)**PLZ tell me fangz!

**(Rainbow Dash: Dear Tara Gilesbie, your story's awful.)**


	2. Wat

**A/N: Discord's there because he once read My Immortal. So he's still imprisoned in his statue, but those were his comments when he read that. (Just in case you're wondering, everypony's reading this in Twilight's library.) Thanks, or as Tara would say "Fangz" for putting up with me!**

**I do not own My Immortal, nor do I own My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.**

Chapter 2.

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok! **(Rainbow Dash: I'm not sure what a "prep" is, but it was worth it!)**

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. **(Luna: Really? We once woke up in the moon for 1000 years!)** It was snowing and raining again. **(Pinkie Pie: The pegasi of Hogwarts are awful at the weather!)** I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. **(Spectrum: So… she drinks blood in bottles?)** My coffin was black ebony **(Spike: How ironic.)** and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, **(Twilight: I'd be surprised if she **_**had **_**any ears left.)** and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. **(Orion: How can she wake up, grin, and flip her hair before**__**finally opening her eyes?) **She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing. **(Twilight: Some ponies from Tramplevania can't blush. Does this apply to vampires, too?)**

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so (EFF)ing don't!" I shouted. **(Twilight: Tsundere much?)**

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily. **(Rainbow: Oh, yeah. You so don't like him!)**

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me.

"Oh. My. (EFF)ing. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR. **(Pinkie: And she most likely dresses as the lady named Good Charlotte for Nightmare Night!)**

"Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped. **(Comet Tail: Who would respond to an invitation by gasping?) (Spectrum: Ebony would.)**


	3. Who's Charlotte?

Chapter 3.

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! **(Rainbow Dash: Sounds like somepony's flankhurt!)** odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl **(Orion: Probably herself.)** 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. **(Spectrum: Nopony cares.)** Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. **(Spike: That's lace. Rarity told me.)** I put on matching fishnet on my arms. **(Twilight Sparkle: And her face!)** I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. **(Twilight: Masochist.)** I read a depressing book **(Comet Tail: Until she died of blood loss.)** while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert. **(Pinkie: Here's my Ebony impression: "Imma goff who vants 2 suck ur blood 2 get ready 4 a concert!")**

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!). **(Twilight: Only emos would wear something like that.)**

"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice. **(Pinkie: *depressed* Hi, Dashie, I'm dying!)**

"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs **(Orion: Such great role models!)**. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood**  
**They're all so happy you've arrived  
The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom  
She sets you free into this life." **(Twilight: *sarcastic* That was beautiful!) **sang Joel **(Rainbow: So Joel took Charlotte hostage? And sings songs about babies?)** (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song).

"Joel is so (EFF)ing hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Draco looked sad. **(Twilight: Emo.)**

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective. **(Rainbow: *gags*)**

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary (EFF)ing Duff. I (EFF)ing hate that little bee-yetch **(Luna: If she's called that, then she's most likely on the moon.)**" I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel **(Pinkie: And Charlotte!)** for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz **(Spectrum: Because they couldn't just walk to the car.)**, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into… **(Comet Tail: A minefield?)** the Forbidden Forest! **(Rainbow: DUN DUN DUNNNN!)**


	4. YOU MOTHERFUKERS

Chapter 4.

AN: I sed stup flaming **(Pinkie: Flankhurt!)** ok ebony's name is ENOBY nut mary su OK! **(Twilight: OK, her name's now Enoby Nut Mary Su?)** DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the (EFF) do you think you are doing?" **(Spectrum: He's trying to kill you, Enoby Nut Mary Su.)**

Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously. **(Orion: And they fell to their deaths.)**

"What the (EFF)ing hell?" I asked angrily. **(Comet Tail: HOW IS SHE NOT DEAD?!)**

"Ebony?" he asked. **(Spectrum: Enoby.)**

"What?" I snapped. **(Rainbow: So she was angry when she said "What?")(Luna: No, the author clearly overuses synonyms in this story.)  
**  
Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore. **(Comet: *gags*)**

And then… suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. **(Spike: Wha?)** Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree **(Rainbow: Poor Fluttershy.)**. THE LEMON HAS BEEN EDITED OUT TO AVOID MENTALLY SCARRING ANYPONY. And then…. **(Twilight: They exploded!)**

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

It was…. **(Everypony: *silent*) **Dumbledore! **(Everypony: *laughing like crazy*)**

**A/N: I would _pay _for Dumbledore to yell "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!" in canon.**


	5. You Ludacris Fools!

Chapter 5. **(Everypony: *stops laughing*)**

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr **(Twilight: Flankhurt!)**! Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache **(Spectrum: That's a **_**perfectly**_** good reason to "swor" at them!) **ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws! **(Orion: She'll probably just "revoiw" herself five times.)**

Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily. **(Rainbow Dash: So he was yelling at them all the way to the castle?)**

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted.

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. **(Pinkie Pie: HELP! DASHIE, I'M BLEEDING! Oh, wait, I'm just sad.)** Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry.

"They were (CLOPPING) in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice. **(Everypony: Eww!)**

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor McGonagall. **(Comet Tail: What kind of insult is that?)**

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape.

And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!" **(Spectrum: "I clopped with Enoby in the Forbidden Forest because of love!")**

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms." **(Twilight: Wouldn't they have gotten expelled for clopping?)(Pinkie: More proof she's a Marey Sue.)**

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a **(Comet Tail: Oh, great.)** low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. **(Twilight: Can high heels even fit into her coffin?)** When I came out….

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live' by Good Charlotte. **(Orion: Oh, great. More "goff" music. And he's in Enoby's room no less.)(Spectrum: Pervert.)** I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. **(Luna: Observer.)** We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room. **(Rainbow: *gags*)**


	6. I Didn't Get One You Sicko

Chapter 6.

AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows! **(Spectrum: Flankhurt.)**

The next day I woke up in my coffin. **(Comet Tail: Oh! I thought you woke up in Tartarus!)** I put on a **(Twilight: *facehoof*)** black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, **(Pinkie: Count Chocula! You'll vant to suck blood after eating it!) **and a glass of red blood. **(Rainbow: Really? I thought it was green blood!)** Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top. **(Twilight: *sarcastic*It's going to stain your RED AND BLACK top! The horror!)**

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. **(Rainbow: You're a "goffick" vampire! Wouldn't you be HAPPY about a bloodstained top?!) **I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the **(Orion: Here we go again.)** pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn't have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like a (wingboner) only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko. **(Spectrum: What's wrong with this girl?)**

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled. **(Orion: Wat.)**

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled. **(Pinkie: He's a giggling cannibal? That's wrong on so many levels!)**

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.

"Really?" he whimpered. **(Rainbow: What an idiot.)**

"Yeah." I roared. **(Comet Tail: So now she's a "goff", a vampire, a Marey Sue, and a lion?)(Luna: Overuse of synonyms once again.)**

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him. **(Pinkie: He kills her!)**


	7. VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU (CENSORED)!

Chapter 7. Bring me 2 life

AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. **(Rainbow: "Bcuz I jus reviuwed mahself!")** An BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! **(Twilight: You know what? I'm not even going to say it.)** Evony isn't a Marie Sue ok she isn't perfect SHES A SATANITS! n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake! **(Pinkie: That doesn't change anything. And her name's Evony now?)**

Draco and I held our pale white hands with **(Orion: *rolls eyes*)** black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish **(Twilight: What?)** (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?) **(Spectrum: Yes.)**. I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. **(Spike: *rolls eyes*)** I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then… **(Twilight: OK, let's skip the clopping again.)**

I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words… Vampire! **(Pinkie: So he's gay now?!)**

I was so angry. **(Comet Tail: *sarcastic* Oh, I'm so scared!)**

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

"No! No! But you don't understand!" Draco pleaded. But I knew too much.

"No, you (EFF)ing idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!" **(Twilight: Isn't that a bit too harsh?)**

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was (CENSORED). He had a really (CENSORED) but I was too mad to care. **(Orion: Then why'd you mention it?)** I stomped out **(Rainbow: Didn't you already stomp out?)** and did so until I was in Vampire's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people.

"VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHER(EFF)ER!" I yelled. **(Spectrum: What a great greeting to a class, Evony!)**


	8. Sarcastic gasp!

Chapter 8.

AN: stop flassing ok! if u do de prep! **(Twilight: *sighs*)**

Everyone in the class stared at me **(Spectrum: Really? You mean people don't normally run into a classroom and scream "VAMPIRE POTTER YOU MOTHERBUCKER"?)** and then Draco came into the room even though he was (CENSORED) and started begging me to take him back.

"Ebony, it's not what you think!" Draco screamed sadly.

My friend B'loody Mary Smith smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair **(Pinkie: So having black hair makes you a goth?)** and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had **(Orion: We don't want to know.)** pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. Hermione was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed. **(Twilight: Just like everypony else in this story!)** It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger. **(Comet Tail: Wat.)** (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. )

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him. **(Pinkie: I liked Dumbledore's insults more.)**

"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!" I shouted at him. **(Spectrum: But wasn't Evony already dating Draco? Idiotic Marey Sue.)**

Everyone gasped. **(Everypony: *sarcastic gasp*)**

I don't know why Ebony was so mad at me. I had went out with Vampire (I'm bi and so is Ebony) **(Twilight: We didn't want to know that.)** for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy effer. We were just good friends now. **(Rainbow: "Even if I have a tattoo confirming my love to him.")** He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.) **(Pinkie: That's a great reason to dump somepony!)**

"But I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" said Vampire.

"Yeah effing right! Eff off, you bastard!" I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility to Draco and then I started to bust into tears.


	9. I Hath Telekinesis

Chapter 9.

AN: stop flaming ok! **(Rainbow: *rolls eyes*)** I dntn red all da boox! **(Twilight: We know!)** dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers! **(Spectrum: But it's hilarious!)** besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson snap dosent lik harry now is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist! **(Spike: Gee, Tara! You need a spell-check!)** MCR ROX!

I was so mad and sad. **(Pinkie: And this fic is very bad.)** I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco. **(Rainbow: Stop tormenting Fluttershy!)**

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn't have a nose **(Comet Tail: You said that already. How stupid is she?)** (basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. **(Orion: For once, black doesn't mean goth!)** It was…. Voldemort! **(Pinkie: You already said that.)**

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away.

"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him. **(Twilight: She threw a cat at him?)** Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped. **(Spectrum: So you're **_**not **_**a sadist!)**

"Ebony." he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter!" **(Luna: Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe at its finest!)**

I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up? **(Rainbow: That just occurred to you?)**

"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back.

Voldemort gave me a gun. **(Orion: Why can't she just, I don't know, USE HER WAND?!)** "No! Please!" I begged.

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!" **(Luna: **_**WE TAKE OFFENSE TO YOU USING THE ROYAL LANGUAGE LIKE THIS, TARA GILESBIE!**_**)**

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. **(Twilight: Why am I picturing him with Screwball's face?)** "I hath telekinesis." he answered cruelly. **(Comet Tail: WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!)** "And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods.

"Draco!" I said. "Hi!" **(Pinkie: Bipolar much?)**

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing **(Rainbow: Stop. Just stop with the descriptions.)** white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way. **(Spectrum: Are they all Tara thinks about?)**

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No." he answered.

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled. **(Pinkie: SUE!)**

"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out. **(Twilight: Tara, you're disgusting.)**


	10. Interlude

**A/N: Thank you, everybody! This Fanfic is now my most reviewed out of them! Have an interlude!**

Twilight walked out of the library, levitating _My Immortal_ with her. She had decided to get rid of it by putting it in Canterlot Castle's maximum security vault, where forbidden objects were placed (even though Nightmare Moon's armor was still in the castle ruins) for the well-being of Equestria.

The young librarian trotted to the train station, and asked the conductor for a ticket to Canterlot. After the train ride, she walked through the city, earning many looks from the snooty ponies.

"What's Princess Celestia's student doing with that book?" Caesar asked Lyrica and Violet.

"I don't know, but that book's magic… it's _dreadful!_" Violet said in fear. When Twilight passed by Fancy Pants and Fleur De Lis, something very weird occurred.

Fleur's horn began to glow, and then Twilight noticed all the other unicorn mares about to fire at it. "QUIET!" Twilight yelled. "I'm taking it to the castle's vault!" About 30 sighs came out of the crowd. The unicorn then continued walking to the palace. She didn't notice everypony applauding her plan.

ONE VISIT TO PRINCESS CELESTIA LATER…

Celestia opened the vault, then disabled the lasers. "Twilight Sparkle, throw it in," the Princess of the Day said with a bit of happiness in her voice. Twilight threw _My Immortal _into the vault, then the door shut, ending its horrors that Ponyville was exposed to.

ONE TRAIN RIDE BACK TO PONYVILLE AND BEING CARRIED OUT OF CANTERLOT ON A CUSHION LATER...

"What happened?" Spike asked as Twilight trotted back into the library.

"I threw _My Immortal _into Canterlot Castle's maximum security vault. Princess Celestia says she's going to throw it off of the summit of Mt. Avalon tomorrow. And the ponies that lived in Canterlot threw a party and carried me out on a cushion," Twilight explained.

"That is… very OOC of them," Luna said as she walked down the stairs, having just risen the moon.

"Very," Orion agreed.

"OOH! I know!" Pinkie exclaimed. "This calls for…"

AT SUGARCUBE CORNER…

"A PARTY!"

Vinyl Scratch was playing some tunes, and Octavia was playing her cello, even though nopony could hear her over Vinyl. "Twilight," Rarity asked. "What's this party for?"

"I just got rid of an evil book," Twilight deadpanned.

"STAGE DIVE!" Pinkie yelled, jumping off of a table. Orion's eye twitched and Octavia rolled her eyes. Derpy Hooves and Berry Punch caught her, and they carried her until a poof was heard. A book fell out of nowhere, and Twilight screamed.

"HOW DID THAT GET HERE?!" she yelled, pointing at the book. Lyra's horn glowed, and she looked at what the book was made out of.

"Taurus leather," Lyra said. Twilight began to get scared.

"What's Taurus leather?" Vinyl asked.

"Taurus is made from a Taurus, silly!" Pinkie giggled.

"A Taurus is kind of like an Ursa," Twilight explained. "Only it's a bull."

"We once fought a Taurus," Luna commented. "Its leather has magical properties when made solid. It teleports to the pony who touched it last."

"Crap," the librarian simply said.

"And if it's a book, you have to…" Luna gulped. "Read it, then find the source."

"OK, Raven… Trixie! And Tara might be…"

Rarity's eyes narrowed. "_Blueblood. _Let me read it."

"Rarity, it's dangerous!" Applejack exclaimed.

"Then we shall project the words with magic," Luna said. "So all of us can defeat _My Immortal _and Enoby once and for all!"

That was met with everypony stomping their hooves. "Alright," Rarity said. "Let us begin."


	11. New Way of Writing

"**Chapter 10," **began Rarity.

"**AN: stup it u… **What language!** If u donot lik ma story den **b**ukk off! ps it turnz out b'loody mary isn't a muggle afert al n she n vampire r evil datz y dey movd houses ok! **I could not believe what I just said."

"**I was really scared about Vlodemort all day."**

"I thought it was 'Voldemort'," Spike commented. Some ponies began to laugh at Spike's comment.

"**I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666."**

"That fits her," Twilight said.

"She has a _band?_" Octavia sarcastically said.

"**I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar."**

"She's even more of a Marey Sue now!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

"What's a 'Marey Sue'?" Fluttershy asked.

"Somepony who's absolutely perfect in every way. No flaws whatsoever," Pinkie said.

"**People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR."**

"So all of them sound male?" Spectrum asked, shuddering at the thought.

"What about Charlotte?" Pinkie said in response.

"**The other people in the band are B'loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron (although we call him Diabolo now. He has"**

Twilight groaned.

"**black hair now with blue streaks in it.) and Hargrid. Only today Draco and Vampire were depressed so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists… **how disgusting!"

"Yeah, Rarity. It is," Comet Tail simply replied.

"**(he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that)"**

"You just did," Orion deadpanned.

"**or a steak)"**

"So you can kill vampires with meat?" Pinkie asked. "But meat's illegal in Equestria!"

"**and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride. I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my… **Ew!I'm skipping that!** You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not. **Ebony, you're disgusting."

"No, _Tara's _disgustin'," Applejack said.

"**We were singing a cover of 'Helena' and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears." **

"Stop busting into tears! Thou might eventually die from blood loss! Oh, yes. That would be good," Luna commented.

**"'Ebony! Are you OK?' B'loody Mary asked in a concerted voice. **

"So she sounded like a concert?" Twilight said.

**"'What the **b**uck do you think?' I asked angrily. And then I said. 'Well, Voldemort came and' **so many F-Bombs!" **I burst into tears. Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall." **

**"'Why didn't you **b**ucking tell me!' he shouted. 'How could you- you- you **b**ucking poser muggle **w**itch!' (c is dat out of character?)"**

Everypony shrugged.

"**I started to cry and cry."**

"Nopony cares," Carrot Top said.

"Yeah, she'll soon die of blood loss," Spectrum added.

"Shouldn't she have already?"

"**Draco started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying. We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Dumbeldore walked in angrily!"**

"Oh, no! Dumbeldore!" Caramel cried in a fake falsetto voice.

**His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache. **

"Aww," Spectrum said.

**"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely.**

"How do ya cry wisely?" Applejack asked.

"**(c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) 'Ebony Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his****wrists.'**How disgusting! Can somepony else read?"

Pinkie bounced over. "I will!"

**A/N: What do you think of the new way everypony's reading it?**


	12. Pointing His Womb

**A/N: "Fangz" for the "10 gud reviows", as Tara would say!**

"**Chapter 11," **Pinkie started.

"**AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz!"**

Twilight sighed. "Do I even have to say it?"

"I guess this story can set ponies on fire," laughed Spectrum.

"**c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111" **

"This whole thing is stupid," Rainbow said.

"**it delz wit rly sris issus! sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me!"**

"Poor Raven," said Fluttershy.

**"'NO!' I screamed."**

"YES!" Comet Tail replied.

"**B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her **b**uck off and I ran to my room crying myself. Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way."**

"So she's sayin' him _stoppin' _would make him look like a pervert?" asked Applejack.

"This is Tara we're talking about," Orion replied. "Nopony can understand her because she's too stupid and because 'Raven' doesn't really help."

"**Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists."**

"How can she have that much blood left if she cries and slits her wrists so much?" Comet asked.

"Because she's a Marey Sue?" Fluttershy theorized.

"**They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide."**

"DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!" chanted Rarity and Fluttershy.

"She can't kill herself with meat," Twilight said.

"**I was so **b**ucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a"**

Twilight rolled her eyes.

"**black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings."**

"How can she have any ear left?" Derpy asked.

"**I couldn't **b**ucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it!"**

"Masticating means 'chewing'," Orion commented. "So how can 'Loopin' be chewing to a video tape? He must be eating the steak then."

"**They were sitting on their broomsticks."**

"Worthless information is worthless," he added.

**"'EW, YOU **B**UCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED!'" **

"She just said how she was wearing a dress," Rarity pointed out.

"'**ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!' I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in."**

"Didn't Ebony say that going into her room would make you look like a pervert?" Vinyl asked everypony.

"'**Abra Kedavra!' he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb."**

Pretty much everypony in the room burst into laughter at the sheer impossibility and stupidity of this. That was wrong in more ways than Vampire being a giggling cannibal.

"I think she was trying to say 'wand'!" Twilight giggled.

"**I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times"**

"Gazillion isn't a real number," Rarity commented, still laughing about the stupidity.

"Didn't Vlodemort say to use that gun on Vampire?" Spike added. "He hath telekinesis, right?"

"**and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumblydore ran in. 'Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!' he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly… **

**Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk."**

"How could Hargrid run on his broom?" Fluttershy asked.

**"'What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!'" **

**"'I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT….' Hargirid paused angrily. 'BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!'"**

"Wat," said Berry Punch.

**"'This cannot be.' Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore's wand had shot him." **

"But wasn't it _Ebony _who shot him?" Lucky asked.

"'**There must be other factors.' 'YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!' I yelled in madly."**

"The randomness has been _doubled!_" Luna sarcastically cheered.

"**Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly."**

"Why am I picturing Loopin holding up three elephants with the camera?" Twilight asked.

**"'The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!' **

**I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood. **

'**Why are you doing this?' Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook. **

**And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint."**

"You're a bipolar goffic vampire!" Rainbow yelled. "Of course you should drink his blood!"

**"'BECAUSE…BECAUSE….' Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent."**

Everypony began to laugh.

**"'Because you're goffic?' Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.' Because I LOVE HER!'"**

"Attention, citizens of Ponyville!" Luna announced. "Anypony who would not want to hear this horrible piece of literature can leave the bakery!" About half of the ponies left, leaving Sugarcube Corner a lot less crowded.

"How much IQ do you think Tara has?" Spike asked out of the blue.

"NONE," everypony said at once.


	13. These Aren't Roses

"**Chapter 12," **continued Pinkie.

"**AN: stop f,aing"**

"What is this 'f,aing' thou speakest of?" Luna asked.

"**ok hargrid is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu!" **

"Bless you," Twilight commented.

"**how du u no snap iant kristian plus hargrid isn't really in luv wif ebony dat was sedric ok!"**

"Wat," Carrot Top said.

"**I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Drago had given me"**

"C'MON! DIE ALREADY!" Comet Tail yelled.

"**in case anything happened to him." **

"When did Draco give Ebony a silver knife?" Sparkler asked the small crowd. Not even the ponies who had read _My Immortal _in the library knew.

"**He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together."**

Rainbow gagged.

"She used a word right!" Spike cheered. "Give her some gems!"

**"'NO!' I THOUGHT IT WAS HAIRgrid but it was Vampire. He started to scream. 'OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!'" **

"Did Vampire really just say 'OMFG'?" asked Applejack.

"**and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites."**

Dead silence. "Pinkie, can I have a muffin?" asked Derpy.

"Sure, Derpy! Somepony can read for me while I'm gone!" Pinkie said, bouncing over to a table with Derpy flying next to her. Twilight picked the cursed tome up.

"**I stopped. 'How did u know?'"**

"Because she hath telekinesis?" Spike thought out loud.

**"I saw it! And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!"**

"But Ebony said that Vampire didn't have a scar, right?" Applejack asked.

**"'NO!' I ran up closer. 'I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!' I shouted."**

"Sweet Lauren, Ah think just like her!" she added.

**"'I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation.' he said back. 'Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! Save me!"**

"How did Vampire know that his scar changed shape?" Orion asked.

"**then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco….Volfemort has him bondage!'"**

"**Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit wrists." **

"She should have done that earlier," Comet said.

"**Snap and Loopin and HAHRID were there too. They were going to St. Mango's"**

"A hospital for fruit?" Fluttershy asked.

"**after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can't have those **b**ucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz."**

Every stallion began to become a bit more interested, then they remembered that the "hot gurlz" were Ebony and her goff friends.

"**Dumbledore had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked."**

Pretty much everypony burst into laughter.

"Ebony was wearing a dress then!" Rarity giggled.

"And did Dumbledore stop feeding the camera fiber?" Orion laughed.

"**I put up my middle finger at them."**

"She probably shoots birds at everypony," Medley commented.

"**Anyway Hargrid came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses."**

**"'Enoby I need to tell u somethnig.' he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses."**

"Because 'very' is too long to write," said Lucky.

**"'**B**uck off.' I told him. "You know I **b**ucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don't like **b**ucked up preps like you." I snapped. Hargrid had been mean to me before for being gottik.**

"Can't we go one chapter without Enoby having a mood swing?" Spectrum asked.

**"'No Enoby.' Hargrid says. 'Those are not roses.'"**

**"What, are they goffs too you poser prep?' I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses."**

"So the roses she called roses three times aren't roses?" asked Rose.

**"'I saved your life!' He yelled angrily. 'No you didn't I replied.' 'You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Snap and Loopin. Who… **eww."

"What's wrong?" Rarity asked.

"Just Enoby being gross," replied Twilight, who then continued reading.

**"Whatever!" I yelled angirly.**

"Angirly?" asked Blues. He then repeated that in a fake falsetto voice, earning death glares.

"**He pointed his wand at the pink roses. 'These aren't roses.' He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you haD TO SAY! ."**

**"'That's not a spell that's an MCR song.' I corrected him wisely."**

"Ah guess M.C.R. stands for 'My Clopfic's Riting?" Applejack thought out loud.

**"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes." Then he screamed. "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for raven I love you girl!)imo noto okayo!"**

**And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew he wasn't a prep."**

"AND HE SPOKE IN YE OLDE BUTCHEREDE EQUISHE!" Luna yelled.

**"'OK I believe you now wtf is Drako?' Hairgrid rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing."**

"But she just said that there was one-" started Rainbow Dash.

"The answer's simple, Rainbow Dash: Enoby's just an idiot," Orion interjected.

**"U c, Enobby," Dumblydore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?"**

"If that made sense, I'd be drunk," the earth pony added.

"Why don't you want to get drunk?" Berry Punch asked. The astronomer shot her a death glare. She shut up after that.

**"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!" Hargrid yelled. dUMBLydore lookd shockd. I guess he didn't have a headache or else he would have said something back.**

"So Dumblydore only talks if he has a headache?" Spectrum asked. "But it's hilarious if he does. He yelled 'WHAT THE HAY ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERBUKERS!'"

"Why?" Rarity replied.

"Because Enoby and Draco were clopping in the Forbidden Forest," Comet deadpanned. Rarity fainted.

**"Hairgrid stormed off back into his bed. "U r a liar, prof dumbledoree!"**

**Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a"**

Orion rolled his eyes.

**"black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don't know who she iz ur a prep so **b**uk off!) and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss."**

**"You look kawai, girl." B'loody Mary said sadly. "Fangs (geddit)"**

"If Ah start to say 'geddit', somepony can hit me," Applejack said.

"And is that supposed to be Neighponese?" Rarity asked as she regained consciousness.

"**you do too." I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood." **

"Yep, she's bipolar," Lyra commented.

"**I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Snap and Loopin couldn't spy on me this time. I went to some classes."**

"Because going to class won't make them spy on me!" Caramel said in a fake falsetto voice.

"**Vampire was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures. He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco. He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff."**

"Nothing to see here," Bon Bon said.

**"'Hi.' he said in a depressed way. 'Hi back.' I said in an wquallysaid way."**

Dead silence.

"**We both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos. Then… we jumped on each other and started **clopping!"

About half of the crowd gagged.

**"'STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!' shouted Professor McGoggle who was watching us and so was everyone else."**

Everypony started laughing at what McGoggle yelled.

**"'Vampire you **b**ucker!' I said slapping him. 'Stop trying to **clop with me**. You know I loved Draco!' I shouted and then I ran away angrily."**

"But she's just as guilty," Rarity commented. "She was clopping, too."

"**Just then he started to scream. 'OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!' and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites."**

"THIS HAPPENED AT THE BEGINNING OF THE CHAPTER!" Rainbow yelled.

**"'NO!' I ran up closer. 'I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!' I shouted."**

"What an idiot," Applejack deadpanned.

**"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco….Volfemort has him bondage!"**

Everypony facefaulted (fell over anime-style).

"**SPECIAL FANGZ 2 RAVEN MY GOFFIX BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS!11111111 **

**HEY RAVEN DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER I**. And that's the end of Chapter 12," Twilight finished.


	14. The Friendless Attack!

"Who wants to read now?" Twilight asked the crowd. Rainbow Dash raised her hoof in the air. "Alright, Rainbow, go ahead," the Bearer of Magic said.

**Chapter 13. **

**AN: raven fangz 4 gelpin me agen im sory ah tok ur postr of gerard but dat guy is such a bokin sexbom!**

"Who is this 'Gerard' that Tara's so obsessed over?" Spike asked.

**PREPZ STOP FLAMIGNG! **

"Tara, stop yelling," Fluttershy commented.

**Vampire and I ran up the stairs looking for Dumbledore. We were so scared. **

"Too bad for you," Applejack quipped.

**"Dumbledore Dumblydore!" we both yelled. Dumbledore came there. **

Half of the crowd laughed at how Dumbledore's name had been spelled first right then wrong. The other half cringed at the horrible image of "Dumbledore came there."

**"What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?" he asked angrily. **

_I should use that the next time I visit Canterlot, _Orion and Octavia thought at the same time, being too used to life in Ponyville to remember how respected they were there.

**"Volsemort has Draco!" we shouted at the same time. **

"No, _Volfemort _has Draco," Spectrum deadpanned.

**He laughed in an evil voice. **

**"No! Don't! We need to save Draco!" we begged. **

"Don't laugh in an evil voice?" Luna asked. "When we were Nightmare Moon, we loved laughing evilly."

"But your laugh when you crashed the Summer Sun Celebration scared some of us," Lyra replied.

**"No." he said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Voldemort does to Draco.**

"He's not swearing as much," Spectrum said sadly, missing how hilarious Dumbledore was.

**Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Ebony." he said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides I never liked him that much anyway." then he walked away. Vampire started crying. "My Draco!" he moaned. (AN: don't u fik gay guyz r lik so hot!)**

Almost everypony gagged at Tara's "AN."

**"Its okay!" I tried to tell him but that didn't stop him. He started to cry tears of blood.**

"You mean Vampire cries tears of blood, too?" Pinkie asked.

**Then he had a brainstorm. "I had an idea!" he exclaimed.**

"And then I lost it," said Orion.

**"What?" I asked him. **

**"You'll see." he said. He took out his wand and did a spell.**

"What kind of spell?" Twilight asked. "Memory? Want it need it? Teleportation?"

**Then… suddenly we were in Voldemprt's lair! **

"But it's Volfemort who has Draco," Comet Tail pointed out. "What good is it coming to Voldemprt's lair?"

**We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. "Allah Kedavra!"**

"Ah guess that's th' Mooslim version?" Applejack asked.

"What's a 'croon voice'?" Rarity added.**  
It was….. Voldemort!**

"There, this chapter's over," Rainbow said angrily. Unbeknownst to anypony, four small black creatures with yellow eyes appeared. Fluttershy turned around and shrieked, attracting everypony's attention to the four shadows.

"Friendless?! In Sugarcube Corner?!" Twilight exclaimed, firing some spells to destroy one of the shadows. Rarity did the same thing to another shadow. Applejack bucked one of them, and Rainbow finished the last one off. "We've gotta check the rest of Ponyville!" Luna galloped towards the door. Pinkie went upstairs to check for Friendless.

"Luna, where are you going?" Rainbow asked.

"We are going to survey Ponyville for any more Friendless," the Princess of the Night replied before taking off into the night.

"What do you suppose the Friendless are after?" Fluttershy asked.

"I don't know…" Twilight said. "But let me use a barrier spell." As her horn glowed magenta, a bubble of the same color surrounded Sugarcube Corner. "There. No Friendless should be able to attack us. Now, let's go back to defeating Enoby!"


	15. We Could Hear His High Heels Clacking

Twilight picked the book up now. It was her turn to read. "No Friendless upstairs!" Pinkie called as she trotted back downstairs.

**Chapter 14. **

**AN: **b**uk off PREPZ ok! Raven fangz 4 helpin agen. im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists.**

"Too much information," said Rarity.

**PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws!**

"THIS IS BLACKMAIL!" shouted Pinkie.

**WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD. **

"Translation: It's full of crap," Orion snarked.

**We ran to where Volcemort was. It turned out that Voldemort wasn't there.**

"They should be looked for _Volfemort_," commented Spectrum.

"They must be brothers," said Fluttershy.

**Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was. Draco was there crying tears of blood. Snaketail was torturing him. **

Nopony laughed.

**Vampire and I ran in front of Snaketail. **

**"Rid my sight you despicable preps!" he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun**

"Gee, he's basically _asking _to get killed," commented Lyra.

**he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes.**

"Does everypony in that book have a crush on her, or what?!" exclaimed Rarity.

**"." he said.**

"Wat," said Pinkie.

**(in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok)**

"Pedophilia isn't the right term. Enoby's seventeen," Rainbow deadpanned.

**"Huh?" I asked.  
"Enoby I love you will you **clop** with me?" asked Snaketail.**

There were many gagging noises.

**I started laughing crudely.**

"How do you laugh crudely?" asked Spike.

**"What the **b**uck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to **clop with you**? God, you are so **b**ucked up you **b**ucking bastard." I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain. **

"Brilliant, Hooves," commented Applejack.

**"Nooooooooooooo!" he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly. **

"That's messed up," said Carrot Top.

**"Snaketail what art thou doing?" called Voldemort. Then… he started coming! We could hear his high heels clacking to us.**

Pretty much everypony did either a spit-take or made a noise like "PFFFTTT!". Then everypony in Sugarcube Corner burst into laughter at the thought of Voldemort wearing high heels.

Five minutes later, the bakery had calmed down. Only Dumbledore's introductory line made the ponies who read _My Immortal _in the library laugh longer than that.

**So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts.**

"And Voldemort didn't chase them?" asked Derpy.

**We went to my room. Vampire went away. There I started crying. **

**"What's wrong honey?" asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could… "**Is that all they think about?" Twilight commented.

**"Its so unfair!" I yielded. "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and preps here except for B'loody Mary, because she's not ugly or anything." **

"That's so flattering," said Lucky.

**"Why would you wanna be ugly? I don't like the preps anyway. They are such **b**ucking sluts." answered Draco.**

"Somepony please define 'slut' in this instance," asked Rarity.

**"Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Snape and Loopin took a video of me naked. Hargrid says he's in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail is in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Draco! Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?" I shouted angrily. **

"What a snob," said Medley.

**(an" don't wory enoby isn't a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty) **

"No, it's just that she's a total Marey Sue," Pinkie deadpanned.

**"Im good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A **B**UCKING CURSE!" I shouted and then I ran away. **

"Yep, Sue," she added.


	16. Biology

**A/N: Applejack's reading this chapter, but I'm not going to be writing her reading in her accent.**

"I know who hasn't read yet…" said Twilight. "Applejack! Your turn!"

Applejack sighed. "Alright, sugarcube, let's start."

**Chapter 15. **

**AN: stup flaming ok!**

"WE'RE NOT FLAMING, WE'RE COMMENTING!" Pinkie yelled.

**btw u suk frum no on evry tim sum1 flams me im gona slit muh ristsz! **

"Tara Gilesbie… you're disgusting," Rarity commented.

**fangz 2 raven 4 hlpein! **

**"Ebony Ebony!" shouted Draco sadly. "No, please, come back!" **

**But I was too mad.**

"All because she thinks she's too pretty?" asked Bon Bon.

**"Whatever! Now u can go anh **clop** with Vampire!" I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. **

"How do you close doors with a key?" Twilight asked, picturing Enoby closing the door with a giant key (not a Keyblade).

**It had a picture of Marylin Manson on it. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Draco and Vampire. I started to cry and weep. **

"Why does she even need two separate synonyms?" Derpy commented.

**I took a razor and started to slit my wrists. **

Everypony flinched or gagged.

**I drank the blood all depressed. Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class. **

**I put on a **

There was a groan coming from Twilight's direction.

**short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters. I put my ebony black hair out. **

"Wait a minute, if she put her hair out, did that mean it was on fire?" asked Linky.

**Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did sum advanced Biology work. I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. Suddenly the guitar turned to Draco! **

"Well, biology is about life…" commented Comet.

**"Enoby I love you!" he shouted sadly. "I dnot care what those **b**ucker preps and posers fink. Ur da most beautiful girl in the world. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just wanna **b**ucking be with you. I **b**ucking love you!." **

"That's a great way to flirt with Enoby, Draco!" Rarity said with sarcasm. "Tell her the things that got her mad!"

**Then…. he started to sing "Da Chronicles of Life and Death" (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Joel was singing it) right in front of the entire class! **

"And the next day, the hospital was filled with the rest of the class, who had all gone deaf," snarked Orion.

**His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson**

"I have this feeling that they sound awful," commented Fluttershy. "Oh… I'm so sorry I… said that."

"You're right, Fluttershy," replied Spectrum. "They probably do sound awful."

**(AN: don't u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da **b**uk out od hr!) .**

Nopony knew who they were, but they didn't leave.

**"OMFG." I said after he was finished. **

"Clapping would be another option," deadpanned Rainbow.

**Some **b**ucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Draco's now) at them. **

"How could she shoot birds at the preps while they were entwined with Draco's fingers?" commented Medley.

**"I love you!" I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (i **b**ukin h8 dat **w**itch) and CMM in a Cinderella Story. **

"If Enoby hates Hilary Duff, why would she say how she kissed Draco like her?" asked Spike.

"Because Tara's an idiot," replied Rarity.

**Then we went away holding hands. Loopin shouted at us but he stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. **

"They already left," said Dizzy Twister. "And why is everypony clapping for them? Didn't Enoby just shoot birds at them?"

**Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Hogsmede right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether.**

"At least she didn't gasp," commented Twilight. A rooster was heard, and Pinkie opened the door to see the sun rising.

"Look everypony!" the earth pony called. The crowd galloped out of Sugarcube Corner, leaving _My Immortal _behind. It then vanished.

A FEW HOURS LATER…

Ponyville was abuzz with talk of "Enoby", "preps", and "_My Immortal_". A voice was then heard across the town. It sounded like Luna. "Everypony, there is a town meeting!"

Ponies stampeded to Town Hall, where they all gathered in as Mayor Mare got in front of them. Twilight could see Luna and Shining Armor on the side of the stand. "Ponies!" the Mayor began. "There has been a small problem since last night."

Many ponies flinched at that. Did somepony tell her about _My Immortal_?

"It has come to my attention that Friendless are appearing at the town's outskirts. Last night, Sugarcube Corner was attacked a swarm of Friendless, but the ponies and the building were saved by Twilight Sparkle!" Hooves stomped on the ground in happiness. "To further protect all of Ponyville, Princess Luna and the Captain of the Royal Guard are going to put up extra barrier spells. Furthermore, here are the upcoming events!"

Mayor Mare put what she thought was the event papers on the podium, but she pulled out… _My Immortal_! Town Hall was filled with hoofbeats as about half of the crowd galloped out of the building. "_My Immortal_? I could have sworn there wasn't a book here." Twilight gulped in fear. She opened the book (having not been at the party), and it immediately flipped to where they left off. "**Chapter 16,**" the Mayor read.

**A/N: Yeahhhh… I decided not to let Fluttershy read the book. She's not gonna read it at all, actually, since she's too cute to read it.**


	17. Volsemort and Da Death Dealers

**A/N: Fangz 4 da 15 gud reviows! (Oh no, I'm starting to sound like Tara…) Also, I'm at Disney World now. **

Mayor Mare began to read _My Immortal, _with a crowd of about 25 listening.

**Chapter 16.**

**AN: u no wut! sut up ok! proov 2 me ur nut prepz! raven u suk u **b**uken bich gimme bak mah fukijn swteet ur supsd 2 rit dis!**

"All this over a poster?" asked Twilight.

**Raven wtf u bich ur suposd to dodis! BTW fangz 2 britney5655 4 techin muh japnese! **

**We ran happily to Hogsmede. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly. **

"This doesn't seem like Enoby," commented Rarity.

**MCR were there playing 'Helena'. **

"And were losing," said Orion.

**I was so **b**ucking happy!**

"I can't believe Enoby's been happy for more than four sentences," commented Spectrum. "She's bipolar," he said to Mayor Mare and Shining Armor.

**Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Draco thought so, I could totally see him getting a… **eww…

"Enoby being disgusting?" wondered Fluttershy. The Mayor nodded.

**but it didn't matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. **

"Let's see: Draco thinks Gerard is hot. Enoby thinks he's meant for her. And she also likes Vampire, who likes Britney," said Medley.

"Let's not forget that Draco likes Vampire," added Comet.

**I was wearing a **

There was a groan from the crowd.

**black leather minidress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets. Draco was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants. Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched. **

"They spoke Prench?" asked Pinkie.

**We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. **

"And then Enoby had a crush on a mask," commented Rainbow.

**So did the others. We gasped. It wasn't them at all. It was.,….. Volsemort and da Death Dealers!**

The crowd erupted into laughter.

**"Wtf Draco im not going to a concert wid u!" I shouted angrily.**

"They're at the concert already!" yelled Lyra.

**"Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them"**

"Bipolarity at its finest," snarked Orion."Also, MAKE UP YOUR MIND!"

**"What cause we…you know…" he gadgetted uncomfortbli cause guys don't like to talk a bout you-know-what. **

"Gadgetted? Talking through a machine?" asked Cheerilee.

**"Yeah cause we you know!" I yielded in an angry voice.**

"Ya can't yield in an angry voice. Yield means to produce," Applejack deadpanned.

**"We won't do that again." Draco promised. "This time, we're going with an ESCORT."**

"Like that'll make a difference," said Twilight."And you're already there."

**"OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?" I asked. "So I guess ur a prep or a Christina or what now?" **

**"NO." he muttered loudly.**

"How do you mutter loudly?" asked Derpy.

"NO," replied Carrot Top in a normal voice.

**"R u becoming a prep or what?" I shootd angrily.**

"YOU SHOT HIM?!" shouted Spectrum. "You already used a gazillion bullets!"

**"Enoby! I'm not! Pls come with me!" **

"Guess he isn't dead," commented Fluttershy.

**He fell down to his knees and started singing 'Da world is black' by GC to me.**

Dead silence.

**I was flattened **

"Flattened? You were crushed by a boulder?" asked Pinkie.

**cause that's not even a single, he had memorized da lyrks just 4 me! **

"Darn," said the earth pony.

**"OK then I guess I will have to." I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room. **

**B'loody Mary was standing there. "Hajimemashite gurl." she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz 'how do u do' in japanese). "BTW Willow that **b**ucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses **

"And you didn't?" Rainbow thought out loud.

**and she skepped math." (an: RAVEN U **B**UKIN SUK! **B**UK U!)**

"Freak," commented Comet. "And since Willow's Raven, Tara just took her anger out on Willow?"

**"It serves that **b**uking bich right." I laughed angrily. **

**Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. **

"I love that movie!" exclaimed Pinkie.

"Wat," said Orion.

**"Maybe Willow will die too." I said.**

"That's just plan cruel," commented Fluttershy.

**"Kawai." B'loody Mair shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly."Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den loopin did it with her cause he's a necphilak."**

"A 'necphilak'?" asked Derpy.

"Necrophiliac," deadpanned Twilight. "Somepony who clops with dead ponies."

**"Kawai." I commnted happily . **

"That's not cute in the slightest," corrected the unicorn, who had some experience in Neighponese.

**We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie.**

"How do you talk in silence?" asked Luna.

**"OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with drako tonight in Hogsmeade with mcr." **

"But Volsemort crashed the last one," commented Shining, who was still trying to understand the Taraverse.

"Captain, the real reason is that Tara's just an idiot," said Lucky.

**I sed. " I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA." **

**B'Loody Mairy Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. "Omfg totally lets go shopping."**

"Because I said 'Omfg' whenever I go to the marketplace," joked Rarity.

**"In Hot Topic, right?" I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde. **

"You can't be goff without shopping at Hot Topic," explained Luna.

**"No." My head snaped up. **

There was a sarcastic gasp from the crowd and Luna.

**'WHAT?" my head spuin. **

"NoW reLEAsE mE," commented Pinkie.

**I could not believe it. "B'Loody Mary are u a PREP?"**

"You just love jumping to conclusions!" exclaimed Rainbow.

**"NOOOO!NOOOO!" She laughed. **

"That sounds more like screaming," deadpanned Spectrum.

**"I found some cool goffic stores near Hogwarts that's all."**

"Of course," snarked Orion.

**"Hu told u abut them" I askd sure it would be Drako or Diabolo or Vampire(don't even SAY that nam to me!).**

"You just did," said Rarity.

**Or me. **

**"Dumblydore." She sed. "Let me just call our broms." **

**"OMFFG DUMBLYDORE?" I asked quietly.**

"That's NOT asking quietly," commented Linky.

**"Yah I saw the map for Hogsmeade on his desk." She told me.**

"How did you get in his office?" asked Bon Bon.

**"Come on let's go." **

**We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in Hogsmeade. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE **

"He'd only be hot if he was on fire," said Seafoam.

**and he gave me a few dresses. "We only have these for da real goffs." **

**"Da real goffs?" Me and B'Loody Mary asked. **

**"Yah u wouldn't believe how many posers ther are in this town man! Yesterday loopin and snap tried to buy a goffic camera pouch." He shook his head. "I dint even no they had a camera." **

**"OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!" **

"You were wearing a dress last time," deadpanned Rainbow.

**I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a **

Twilight covered her ears.

**long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit. **

**"Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit" The salesperson said. **

**"Yeah it looks totlly hot." said B'Loody Mary. **

**"You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?" he asked. **

"He's going to be the escort? That means Enoby's a POSER!" yelled Pinkie.

**"Yeah I am actually." I looked back at him. "Hey BTW my name's ebondy dark'ness dementia TARA way what's yours?"**

This time, only the ponies who read _My Immortal_ in the library laughed.

"FLANKHURT!" bellowed Comet.

"Changing your middle name because you were mad at Raven? That's so mature of you," commented Rarity.

**"Tom Rid." He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair. "maybe I'll see you there tonight." **

**"Yeah I don't think so cause I am going there with my bf drako you sick perv!" I yelled angrily, **

"Ebondy. Just stop overreacting," said Twilight.

**but before he could beg me to go with him, **

"Because you're a Marey Sue," Rainbow added.

**Hargrid flew in on his black broom looking worried. "OMFG EBONDY U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!"**

"They've run out of razors to slit your wrists!" cried Spectrum, his words dripping with sarcasm.

Mayor Mare put down the book. "Anypony else want to read?" she asked.

"We shall," Luna replied. The Princess of the Night turned the page to… "**Chapter 17.**"


	18. Enoby Almost Gets Killed

**Chapter 17. **

**AN: I sed stup flming da stryo! if ur a prep den dnot red it!**

"We're not preps!" Pinkie yelled.

**u kin tel weder ur a prep or not by ma quiz itz on ma hompage. **

"No thanks," said Twilight. "I don't want to look like a moron."

**if ur not den u rok. if u r den FOOOOOK UFFFFFFFFFF! **

"Fok uf?" asked Spectrum. "NOOOOOO WAAAAAAY!"

**pz willo isn't rely a prep. Raven plz do dis il promis 2 giv u bak ur postr!**

"So she killed off Willow over a poster. How very mature of you," quipped Orion.

**Tom Riddle gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. **

"How… disturbing," commented Rarity.

**(hes bisezual). Hargird kept shooting at us to cum back 2 Hogwarts. **

Everypony cringed at the mental image.

**"WTF Hargrid?" I shouted angrily. "**B**uck off you** eff-**jucking bastard." **

A few ponies giggled at Luna's censoring.

**Well anyway Willow came. **

More cringing.

"Wait a minute," interrupted Orion. "Enoby and Mary were talking about how Willow was expelled and killed last chapter. How is she alive?"

"Maybe Willow's a zompony?" theorized Fluttershy.

"Nah, Ah think Tara just revived Willow 'cause she isn't mad at Raven anymore," said Applejack.

**Hargird went away angrily. **

**"Hey **w**itch you look kawaii." she said.**

"I doubt it," said Rainbow.

**"Yah but not as kawaii as you." I answered sadly cause Willow's really pretty and everything. **

"It's so sad telling somepony else they're pretty," cried Lyra with a fake sad face.

**She was wearing a **

Twilight shook her head in annoyance.

**short black corset-thingy with blood red lace on it and a blak blood-red miniskirt, leather fish-nets and black poiny boots that showed off how pale she wuz. She had a really nice body wif big bobs and everything.**

Town Hall was once again filled with laughter.

"Nice to meet your bodyguards, Willow!" joked Pinkie.

**She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic. **

"That sounds… unpleasant," commented Carrot Top.

**"So r u going 2 da concert wif Draco?" she asked. **

**"Yah." I said happily.**

"I'll bet Volsemort's going to just crash it again," deadpanned Lucky.

**"I'm gong with Diabolo." she anserred happily. Well anyway Draco and Diabolo came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. Diabolo was wearing a **

"Soon she'll start saying the barcode," said Twilight.

**black t-shirt that said '666' on it. He was wearing tons off makeup jus like Marylin Manson. Draco was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vans he got from da Warped tower. B'loody Mart**

"For goffick vampires only," commented Derpy.

**was going 2 da concert wif Dracola. Dracola used to be called Navel but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires. They dyed in a car crash. Navel converted to Satanism and he went goth. He was in Slitherin now. He was wearing a **

"You know what? I'm not even going to say it," muttered Twilight.

**black Wurped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it. We kall him Dracula now. Well anyway we al went 2 Draco's black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik) that his dad Lucian gave him. We did pot, coke and crak. **

"That I can actually believe," commented Comet.

**Draco and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid **b**uking preps. We soon got there….I gapsed.**

"Hogwarts is going to run out of oxygen at this rate," said Pinkie.

**Gerard was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. **

The crowd erupted into laughter.

**He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice. We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz. **

"They must be odd," said Medley, still laughing.

"Who thinks Volsemort and da Death Dealers are disguising themselves as the band?" guessed Twilight. Everypony rose one of their forelegs.

**Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. **

"I WAS RIGHT!" she yelled.

**I gasped. **

"Soon they'll be out of air," said Blues.

**It wasn't Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy man wif no nose and red eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Draco. Draco and I came. **

"Um… why would you clop when Volsemort is making an entrance?" asked Fluttershy.

**It was….Vlodemort and da Death Deelers! **

Everypony did a sarcastic gasp.

**"U moronic idiots!" he shooted angstily. "Enoby, I told u to kill Vampire. Thou have failed. And now….I shall kill thou and Draco!"**

A cheer echoed through Town Hall.

"Finally, somepony's going to kill Enoby!" cheered Pinkie.

**"No no please!" We begged sadly but he took out his knife.**

"But he can't use his wand?" asked Derpy.

**Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick.**

"Oh, horseapples," said Spectrum.

**He had lung black hair and a looong black bread. **

"He was holding a long piece of bread?" asked Raindrops.

**He wus werring a blak robe dat sed 'avril lavigne' on da back. He shotted a spel and Vlodemort ran away. **

A disappointed groan was heard. "I guess Enoby's not gonna die now," commented Colgate.

**It was…DUMBLYDORE!**

About half the crowd facefaulted. Luna turned the page to chapter 18.


	19. The Grate Hall Gets A Makeover

**A/N: And you thought I was gone! I had sum srs ishus, and I'm happy 4 ur reviows! (Oh God, I'm beginning to talk like Tara!)**

**HEY SOARIN WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON MY 3DS?**

**Chapter 18. **

**AN: I SED STUP FLAMMING! if u do den ur a fuken prep! fangz 2 raven 4 da help n stuf. **

"Poor Raven," sympathized Fluttershy.

**u rok! n ur nut a prep. fangz for muh sewter! ps da oder eson dumbeldor swor is koz he trin 2 be gofik so der! **

"What?" asked Rarity.

**I woke up the next day in my coffin. **

"As if last night never happened," quipped Orion.

**I walked out of it **

"Her coffin's upright? That must be uncomfortable," commented Lucky.

**and put on some **

"Oh, great!" exclaimed Twilight.

**black eyeliner, black eyesharrow, blood-bed lipstick and a black really low-cut leather dress that was all ripped and in stripes so you could see my belly. I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it. **

**(Da night before Draco and I rent back to the skull (geddit skull koz im goffik n I like deth). **

"Who would like_ DEATH_?" asked Rainbow.

**Dumbeldore chased Vlodemort away. We flew there **

"To where Vlodemort was chased off to?" she added.

**on our brooms. Mine was **

"Now she's going to start describing the brooms?!" yelled Twilight.

**black and the broom-stuff was blood-red. There was lace all over it. Draco had a black MCR boom. We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song.)**

Dead silence.

**Well anyway I went down to the Grate Hall. **

"A hall only opened by grates?" asked Derpy.

"No, it's where cheese execution takes place," replied Colgate.

**There all da walls were painted black and da tables were black too. But you fould see that there was pink pant underneath the black pant. **

"Wouldn't it be hot if there were pink pants underneath the black pants?" Rarity pointed out.

**And there were pastors of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys. **

"Ashlee Simpson sounds more like one pony," Spectrum commented.

**"WTF!" I shouted going to sit next to B'loody Mary and Willow.**

"WHO SHOULD BE DEAD!" yelled Rainbow.

**B'loody Mary was wearing a **

"I'm not even going to say it," muttered Twilight.

**black leather mini with a Good Chraloote t-shirt, black fishnets and black pointy boots. Willow was wearing a long gothic blak dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs and black boots and fishnets. Vampire, Dracula and Draco came. **

A slight gagging sound was heard.

**We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong. The boys joined in cause they were bi.**

"Whaaat?" asked Comet.

**"Those guys are so **b**ucking hot." Navel was saying as suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everything came. He was the same one who had chassed away Vlodemort yesterday. He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hare black. **

"That poor black hare," sympathized Fluttershy.

**"….DUMBLEDORE?1!" we all gasped.**

"You must all have asthma," commented Twilight.

**"WTF?" I shouted angrily. "I thought he was just wearing that to scare Volsemort!" **

**"Hello everyone." he said happily. "As u can see I gave the room a makeover. **

Every living being in town hall started laughing.

**Whjat do u fink about it?" **

**Everyone from the poser table in Gryiffindoor started to cheer. Well we goths **

"You don't seem like Goths, according to this book," Twilight countered.

**just looked at each other all disfusted and shook our heads. We couldn't believe what a poser he was!1. **

**"BTW you can call me Albert." HE CALLED AS WE LEFT to our classes.**

"Why is half the sentence capitalized?" asked Spectrum.

**"What a **b**ucking poser!" Draco shouted angrily as we we **

"Might I trouble you for another slice of cake?" Pinkie said in her Madame LeFlour voice.

**to Transfomation. We were holding hands. **

Twilight rolled her eyes.

**Vampire looked really jealous. I could see him crying blood in a gothic way (geddit, way lik Gerard) but I didn't say anything. "I bet he's havin a mid-life crisis!" Willow shouted.**

"Vampire or Dumblydore?" Rarity asked.

**I was so **b**ucking angry.**

"Too bad for you," quipped Lucky.


	20. PONIES IN SWEATERS

**A/N: Hey, everypony! This is my 20th chapter! Now, I have to go ask Soarin if I can have my sweater back. Same with Twilight having my socks. (Because ponies in sweaters and socks are awesome.)**

**Chapter 19. im nut ok i promise**

"A chapter that actually has a name!" Rainbow cried in fake shock.

**AN: plz stup flaming da story if u do ur a foken prep n ur jelous**

"Keep telling yourself that," snarked Orion.

**ok!11 frum noq un im gong 2 delt ur men reviowz!111 BTW evonyd a poorblod so der!1 fangz 2 raven 4m da help!11 **

**All day we sat angerly finking about Dumbelldore. We were so **b**ucking pissed off. **

"When aren't ya?" questioned Applejack.

**Well, I had one thing to look forward too- da MCR concert. **

"Enoby, it's just Vlodemort and da Death Deelers," said Twilight.

**It had been postphoned, **

"They posted it on a phone?" asked Rarity.

**so we could all go. **

**Anyway, I went to the common room sadly to cut classes. **

"She's going to be in a lot of trouble," commented Rainbow Dash.

**Draco was being all secretive. **

**I asked what it was and he got all mad me and started crying all hot and angsty (rnt sensitve bi guyz so hot).**

More gagging.

**"No one **b**ucking understands me!1" he shouted angrily as his black hare **

"So now Draco owns a pet hare?" asked Fluttershy.

**went in his big blue eyes **

"A hare went in his eyes?" said Carrot Top. "That must hurt."

**like Billie Joe in Boulevard of Borken Dreamz. He was wearing **

A groan came from a certain unicorn.

**black baggy paints, a black MCR t-shirt and a black die. (geddit insted of tie koz im goffik)**

That unicorn facehoofed.

**I was wearing a blak leather low cut top with chains all over it all over it a blak leather mini, black high held boots and a cross belly fing. My hair was al up in a messy relly high bun like Amy Lee in Gong Under. (email me if u wana see da pik) **

**"Accuse me? What about me!" I growled. **

**"Buy-but-but-" he grunted.**

"On sale today!" joked Pinkie.

**"You **b**ucking bastard!" I moaned. **

**"No! Wait! It's not what it **b**ucking looks like!" he shouted.**

"What's he even doing?" said Medley.

**But it was to late. I knew what I herd. **

Pinkie broke into a fit of giggles.

**I ran to the bathroom angrily, cring. Draco banged on the door. I whipped **

"Whipped what?" asked Meadow Song.

**and whepped as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces**

A roar of laughter came from the crowd of ponies.

"Down her FECES?!" laughed Applejack.

**like Benji in the video for Girls and Bois (raven that is soo our video!). I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke pot.**

"So she thought it was important, but then decided it wasn't?" observed Bon Bon, still laughing.

"How do you smoke a pot?" giggled Lyra.

**Suddenly Hargrid came. **

"Eww," commented Shining.

**He had appearated. **

**"You gave me a **b**ucking shock!" I shouted angrily dropping my pot. "Wtf do you fink you're doing in da gurl's room?"**

"PERVERT!" yelled Rarity.

**Only it wasn't just Hargrid. Someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it 2 b Tom Rid or maybe Draco but it was Dumblydore. **

**"Hey I need to ask you a question." he said, pulling out his black wanabe-goffik purse. "What are u wearing to the concert?"**

"It's just another trap by Vlodemort," said Cheerilee.

**"U no who MCR r!"**

"Everypony does in your world, Enoby," deadpanned Lucky.

**I gasped.**

"OK, Enoby has asthma," commented Mayor Mare.

**"No I just saw there was a concert dat a lot of gothz and punx were going 2." He said. "Anyway Draco has a surprise for u."**

Luna put down the book. "That shall be all for today," she said.

THE NEXT MORNING…

Cheerilee trotted into the schoolhouse. "Good morning, everypony! Today, we're going to be learning about mythology," she said happily. As she sat down, she pulled a book out, her eyes widened, and she fainted.


End file.
